Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
