Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Randomize
