Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
