if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
