know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
