So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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