just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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