I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
