I wanna bring you to show and tell
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
