how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
