By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
