this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
