I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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