We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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