Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
