She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
