do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
you would pick up someone in the library
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
