After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
