Do you still have your period?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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