There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize