did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
id be glad to
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
