it's like iHOP with fire
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
