She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
