Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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