she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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