i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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