You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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