We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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