it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
