Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
