i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
