Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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