and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
