Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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