Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
