His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
of course. lets lasso hookers.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize