No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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