going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
