its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
