I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
