Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
