when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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