On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Randomize
