He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
