Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
