His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
