Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
