Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
