i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
how drunk are you?
Several
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
