is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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