its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
