Your mouth is God's brothel.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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