based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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