Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
