so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
